Sustaining a Relationship

Should I tell my family I’m dating a man?

If you haven’t come out yet, it’s best you do so before introducing your partner to your family. First, you need to have a good grasp of how your family might react. If they’ve expressed homophobic sentiments in the past, you should resolve this issue before talking about other stuff. Take it slow, and seek professional help if you think you need guidance on coming out. 

If you think they’re ready, have a talk with your family. Make it clear that you are gay, and that you would like for them to be a part of that aspect of your life. Most parents will want you to be happy in life, even if they’re not entirely accepting of your sexuality. 

How do I introduce my gay partner to my family?

If you’re already out to your family, you might consider taking the next step by introducing your date to them. Including your partner in all aspects of your life sends a powerful message, and may result in greater acceptance of your sexuality from your family. 

First, ease your family into it by conducting short trial visits. This could mean bringing your partner home just to say hi. Get him to bring along a small gift, such as your mum’s favourite snack, so as to leave a good impression. If things go well, you may increase the duration of the visits gradually, then proceed to bringing him along for family dinners or events. If your family reacts badly, however, you need to stand firm and let them know that you will continue seeing your boyfriend, regardless of their objections. With any luck, your family will get used to his presence in time to come.

I’m attached, but I’m finding myself attracted to my hot neighbour. Help!

Being attracted to someone else while you’re dating is perfectly normal. There are many reasons why people in relationships might get involved with another person. You need to examine your feelings to see if your attraction is purely physical, or if there are emotional attachments involved. If it’s just sex you’re after, has there been a prior agreement about sexual rendezvous outside of the relationship? If you do decide to have sex with another person, always use a condom to protect your partner and yourself. 

Sometimes the attraction to another person may be symptomatic of underlying issues in a relationship. Are you trying to punish your partner because of something he did in the past? Are you bored and stuck in a rut? Are you doing this because you think your partner is not the one for you? Have an open discussion with your boyfriend about your feelings toward the “third party”. You might also consider seeking professional counselling services to work out these issues together.