How to Approach Someone

Take the initiative

Most gay men wait for others to take the initiative. Everyone wants a handsome guy to walk up and talk to them. But if everyone’s waiting to be approached, there would be no one doing the talking. Why not practice getting out of your comfort zone? Find a guy you like and start a conversation. Take a deep breath, smile warmly and say “hi”. To many gay men, the thought of doing this is terrifying, but with practice it will get more comfortable.

What to say?

Okay, you have spotted someone. What do you say? Two things here: break the ice and talk about something in common. Find something unique about him and comment on it humorously. Instead of “Hey, your shirt is really nice”, try phrasing it in a more creative way: “You know, there are those who can never pull off a checkered shirt, but it just looks great on you.” 

If you get stuck, offer to buy him a drink. This buys you more time to think about something to talk about. Then find a common topic to talk about. Both of you may be (surprise surprise) from the same alma mater, or army unit, or in the same line of work. Do not rush into the fact-finding (age/top/btm/flex/shoe-size/work/place/seek) mode immediately.